As I’ve discussed in this space previously, my mentor in football is a man named John Paul Young, who coached with several NFL teams as well as practically every reputable college football team in the Southwest proper in the 70s, 80s and 90s. While I’ve never discussed his wife, Dolores, she’s as much a part of John Paul’s story as anyone in football, and he’d tell you as much.
However, no one’s ever told Dolores’ story before, so she took it upon herself to do just that, sort of. In her new book, I Married Football (for details on ordering it, click here), she recounts her days in the game, but also provides key advice and tips for young women who are in her situation and just getting started in the game.
Though I haven’t had the pleasure of reading it yet, I asked her several questions about her experiences. I’ve included them here, along with her responses.
- JPY coached at all four levels (HS, college, indoor and NFL). Which one was easiest for you, as his wife? Which one was most enjoyable? “John coached at the junior high in Jacksonville for two periods before he went to the high school. He loved those junior high kids. In those days, they had to cross Hwy 79 to get to the Tomato Bowl (where Jacksonville High School’s football team plays) where they had football or P.E. One boy pulled another boy’s shorts down as they were crossing the highway, so John paddled him. They marched like soldiers after that. John loved coaching football. When asked if he misses football, he answers, ‘every day.’ He really coached for love of the game and the boys or men. . . My favorite game of football is Arena Football, and John had two teams: the Dallas Texans and the Houston Terror. I really liked the Texans because the field was so close we could see everything happening. There was loud music, and you could hear the players bouncing off the walls like hockey players. The fans were in the game. It was just fun and exciting.”
- Getting fired is part of football. Did it ever get easy? Are there “stages of grief,” almost like a death in the family? “Getting fired was very difficult for us all, whether it was the whole staff or just John. Just like a divorce or a death. I disliked for other coaches to be fired as well as John. I did not like leaving our home, friends, and church. Sometimes John would get a job right away and leave us to sell the house and move. . . The boys usually were very excited to go to a new team. I was thankful we had boys. The new place is easier for boys than girls . . . boys are ready for new boys. It is harder for girls, since the girls are not as happy for girls . . . .”
- Moving is part of life as a coach’s wife. What was the hardest place to leave? What was the toughest move to make? “It was hard leaving Texas A&M since we had lived there eight years, the longest we lived anywhere. I loved our church, house, and friends. The boys had only gone to school in Bryan and had lots of friends. But since we were going to the Oilers, the boys were excited. We had to move without John since he ran off to training camp in San Angelo. I had moving experience (some) but not without a husband.”
- Let’s say you just met a football wife. What is the thing you two will most likely talk about immediately? “We would talk about children, schools, where to buy a house, where to shop, getting to know the other wives on the staff.”
- JPY has thousands of friends in the business, but some are closer than others. Which coaches’ wives did you get closest to, and why? “The first coach’s wife I met was Helen Phillips (wife of Bum), when I was 20, at UTEP. She helped me a lot getting to adjust to being a coach’s wife. Nell Almond’s husband, Kenneth, was a coach, too. We are still in touch now 62 years later. Also Marion Slayton and Jean Harper. Betty Sheffield (wife of Jacksonville head coach Dick Sheffield) was in Jacksonville. She took me under her wing with our seven-week-old baby boy, John Paul, Jr. Euleta Fry at SMU (wife of head coach Hayden Fry) introduced me to Mary Kay makeup. At Texas A&M, Ruthie Stallings (wife of head coach Gene Stallings) was wonderful bringing me all kinds of things. Jeannette Van Zandt (wife of longtime NFL assistant coach Lance Van Zandt) was (also) a good friend.”
Dolores’ book is full of great stories about the business as well as full-color pictures of coaches, players and people from around the game, most of them from the Youngs’ personal collection. If you love stories about the game and a unique perspective on the game, make sure to pick up her book. You won’t be sorry.
Succeed in Football 